lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
And love that never fails
Let mercy fall on me
When everyone needs forgiveness
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender
Shine a light in and
let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and
let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king
Thursday, January 29
-10:24 pm
- Tsubasa is coming to an end. Pity. I thought the story is pretty good, with a lot of twists and turns. Ties in well with XXXholic. Goes to show how much planning the team has put into. Good job Clamp!
- Getting all my comics from Tenchi. 8-9 books for $50. I can see my ang pow money flying off. So much expenses to pay. Sighs. How am I ever going to save up for the graduation trip? Haha.
- Read more anti-Twilight stuff. Someone wrote a parody on it. If that's how Stephenie Meyers write, I pity generations to come who actually think that's good writing. Hopefully it reallly gets them to read more like maybe Anne Rice's vampire series. Heard that they are good. Then they will CRINGE at their fandom on Twilight. I seriously hope that they will.
- Watch Angelina Jolie's Changeling today. Hmm. It's really a movie about the social injustice that the people faced at that time, the patriach society of the past who dismissed women, the political corruption within hierarchies which the public deposit their trust in, the unheard cries of the women and how they were conformed into their societal roles as mothers and wives and the cruelty of humanity. How is it that someone is so off the rocket that he didn't even plead guilty for killing 20 boys? How was he even off the charts of the mental asylum? Oh right, they are too busy dealing with innocent women under code12. Though it's never explained what Gordon's reason was but something is really off when he didn't have qualms killing boys just like that. The movie was emotional as well - the despair, determination and hope of a mother to find her lost son, the injustice and anger that I felt for the women in that era (so many times I want to scream fuck off you bastards, stupid males!), the supposed tolerance and smugness of the police force and then their helpless upon knowing the truth. How it must have smart when the police lose their credibility and the desperation they must have had, so much so that they had to resort to underhand means to maintain "credibility". You don't know whether to sympathise with them or to cheer for their lost glory.
- And I am so grateful I'm born in this era where all males and females are treated equally.
- I'm quite an official Clint Eastwood-directed films fan now. Yay to him! :]
Tuesday, January 27
-11:55 pm
"Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within." — Sigmund Freud
Saw this from someone's blog and kope it. Kinda similar to what I have wrote a million years ago. I was reading back old entries and this reminded me of that. Would have love to meet that guy and talk him to death about his psychoanalysis. MUAHAHA.
-10:01 pm
Happy Chinese New Year! This year has been quite unhappening because it's the first year where I had no where else to go on the first day. Came back from church after getting almost all the ang pows I can get. HAHAHA. Next year I prolly won't be so thick-skinned to just pop by the aunties to get ang pows liao. :p If they are just happened to be there then, well heh, what's the harm. XP Then today, we had our usual cousin gathering at Joey's place. Great to have cousins who are way older than you. We can just gather at their place without fretting about which uncle or aunt's place to go for CNY. Played mj and won quite a sum. I'm happy because I'll get to have money to feng xian, although it's "ill-gotten" money. Anyway, yah. Hopefully I won't get drag into playing next time. This year's luck doesn't just follow to the next and I don't think I can stand the pressure.
Once again, Happy Chinese New Year! :]]]
Thursday, January 22
-11:24 pm
To His Coy Mistress
Andrew Marvell
Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day;
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood;
And you should, if you please, refuseTill the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow.An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, lady, you deserve this state,Nor would I love at lower rate.
But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall soundMy echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv'd virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust.
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.
Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may;
And now, like am'rous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour,
Than languish in his slow-chapp'd power.
Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.
Love After Love
Derek Walcott
The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other's welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.
The Time Traveler's Wife
I knew I would love the book right from the start. I'm just halfway there and if I ever do give in my impulses, I would have bought the book. I don't know why Keni ever thinks that it sucks. I should ask her why. But then again, she finds non-fiction more interesting, such illogical/far-fetched stories are prolly just a waste of time.
Thanks to Henry being a librarian and a book lover, he "introduced" quite a number of poets, novels, authors. If I EVER have the time, I would really try to get in all done within my lifetime (because Bel mentioned that Obama may just sign a peace treaty with Israel which is at war with Palestine now. Doomsday may just come now and here). Maybe starting with poems, since they have the ability to say the most with the least.
Now and here. With them, it has become one of the most romantic line in the entire book. It's really true for any relationship doesn't it? It's the "now and here" that is the most important, that we focus on each other, that we ought to savour.
I look forward to more of Audrey Niffenegger's creations. That's if she ever does write more.
Sunday, January 18
-11:35 pm
I managed to stay off blogging for more than 2 weeks! Well of course my life hasn't been on a stand still but to really quiet down and write something for this little online journal is something that has eluded me for the past couple of weeks.
Then again, there hasn't been much memorable stuff save for Red Cliff 2 and Australia. I'm going to watch Changeling too! Angelina Jolie. Some people mentioned she tried too hard. But well, I think I'll just go in and watch less critically, not like I will be some kind of movie critic anyway. Besides, a lot of my opinion is based on what other people said too. I should try going in without listening or reading what other people has said. That will be more creditable. :p
Oh I forgot! Add/Drop was memorable this semester. Gosh, I was practically on the hot seat for the entire 2 weeks of add/drop, it's horrible. I didn't managed to get a single "planned" module except for HMJ3 (yay-ness for that). All because I took one less modules than some of my peers. Oh well. In the end I have a five-day week and modules which I am semi-interested in. Maybe it's God's plan to have it this way, to get myself more diverse in other areas other than Child/Development Psychology. 5 day week is also probably to make me study even more because 3-day week is really giving me too much free time and making me hate school because I have to study long hours. -.- In the end, it's prolly a good deal haha. Yes I'm rationalising here but then again, why bitch about it when it's already set in stone. I'll get to go school more often and feel less guilty about wasting time at home. It's a win-win for me. :D
And I'm FINALLY reading The Time Traveller's Wife. Oh gosh, I love Henry. I think he's got this wry humour which I really appreciate and he really loves Clare. But I can't imagine how Clare can actually tolerate and be so patient with his illness, not that she really has a choice in it. But to make the decision to love such a man - someone who can disappear for a long time and then magically come back again, take great guts. I don't think I can be like her. It's with an envious heart as I slowly get to know about their relationship. Not of the man that Henry is, I mean seriously, do you have the ability to wait for the man who consistently time-travels, but of the deep-rooted relationship that they have. It is filled with so much longing and love, how many do you see that in this world? Perhaps there are but I'm just too blind to see them. Then again, we are in a CHINESE/ASIAN society, we don't see many of the older couples being so lovely-dovey. Even for those young couples, work and children have probably driven out any romance for them. The way we do things and which are emphasised are likely to be different.
what a joke. in the end, we'll prolly see the same thing all over again. pardon me if i snicker. why do i feel that something is not right somewhere, in this whole scheme of things? the whole clark-lana thing? i seriously hope it will go somewhere in the future.
Thursday, January 1
-11:36 pm
It's 2009.
And I don't have much to reflect on 2008 like what I did for the past few years.
But a general feeling was that 2008 was a year I had spent for myself. To the point of being almost selfish and it has made me lose focus on what I want and supposed to be. Okay maybe not selfish but I'm looking out for my interest more and getting less patient.
Also discovered that old feelings can rekindle just like that but they can also be resolved later.
Yes I'm resolved. Hopefully it will never waver again. I hope it won't because of the conclusions I have come to - only goes to show what kind of person and his love can bring. Not staying in hall wrecks havoc on my studying habits, as "proudly" shown by my results. I'm soooo committed to studying now. The laptop has become boring now anyway. I'm so lazy to watch shows now (Can't say the same when crunch time comes.).
Open House 2008 was a success too! :]] Damn happy with that. Did so many crazy stuff with the events people. I'm so glad we met. Heh.
Then England and Scotland 2008! Wheeeee. Highlight of the year! Modern London, romantic Edinburgh and picturesque Lake District. Sighs. I want to go back there again in May. Hahaha. Best time of the year to go Europe I feel.
Well. 2009 has come and the first day is going to end soon. I have made some resolutions for the year. Hopefully I'll keep to them and that they are realistic enough. Heh.
1) Do daily devotions.
2) Be a good sunday school teacher.
3) Read my texts EVERYDAY.
4) Be a good committe member in any committee I am in.
Alrights. Ton-ning 2 nights in almost a week can kill. Now I'm almost sick, or rather, sick liao. I'm off to do daily devotions and reading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. I tell you, this man was so intelligent that I wish he had still be alive to debate with all the atheists of today. I'm in total admiration of the man. Feel like buying all his books hahaha.
