Thursday, January 31
-9:46 am
I'd a case of a very bad dream this morning.
It was so bad that the last thing I remembered was that I was crying so hard it woke my consciousness, making me wondered if I was really crying or just dreaming.
And the worst thing, I think I'd dreamt of it before.
The last part was about an execution of a friend, someone whom I've haven't seen in a long time in real life. The execution was done very sophisticatedly - just severe 3 important life points in his body and he'll be gone. The worst juxtapose? It was done by a church member. I remembered what my mom said in the dream: "and just like that his capricorn is gone." "Capricorn" being one of the major life point. (which doesn't make any sense at all. haha.) Then there was this girl who was holding a chart of something was crying away. She was like mumbling incoherently that she never had a chance to tell him she liked him or something. I think I cried along with her. That sorrow for her lost chance was so strong in dream that it was the first feeling I woke up with.
Then as I sat dazed on my bed, I caught vestiges of the dreams before that particular scene. It was Klara's wedding and for some reason I had a dress to change into. (I can't even make it in real life because of Open House.) Then the next scene I remembered was some food stall auntie who shared with me how glad she had gone for some workshop which strengthened her faith. Oh and before that, I found out that I'd earned some loose changes from a competition I think. A lot of them in fact. Could pay for some stuff. Then I was with some guys (whom I can't remember now but I do know them.) and we were getting some divinations thingy. Those lots which tell you how your fortune would be like. Mine was "Small Escape" (which is nothing too bad, just some misfortune I think) and then this guy's was "Big Escape".
There weren't even any precursors which could have trigger such dreams. Before coming back to hall, I was with the Events' people for the booths briefing. After that, it was just using the computer and studying.
All the elements don't make sense at all.
But they shook me.
I never want that dream again.
Sunday, January 27
-10:41 pm
"My diet starts tomorrow. And I'll drown my sorrows in a buffet."
Some guy in Anthony's Bourdain's No Reservations said that.
Lols.
Anyway, those donuts are from a Japanese shop in The Central. Oh man, it's wonderful. Decadent delights. I think it's $3/4 for 12 little ones. Yummmm.
Saturday, January 26
-1:01 am
Was led into a short conversation about religion and suan ming. Guess it was a good opportunity to organise how I see the whole thing.
I don't believe in the daily, monthly and yearly divination which astrology likes to do as I'd told him. I mean it's like, they are just basing things on just the star signs. Besides, a lot of such predictions are really vague and applicable to all. "You have a bad childhood." In every child's eyes, which of you guys would actually not think that you had a bad childhood on some grounds? Especially when you are comparing to something or someone. Good or bad, again is a matter of perspective. So if you tell me wearing red is going to help me snag a good-looking guy, I'd pass. Who knows where this guy has come from?
If speaking objectively - Fate, God, Red thread etc are names for the unknown forces working on people. There could be really a real God (But I really believe in that!) or it could be just that people are trying to put a name to something so that they (humans) could have some control on these intangibles. Man is insecure if you want to ask. We are scared of the unknown but attitudes towards these unknown will change how we view them. ANYWAY, for me, God is a planner ie my days on Earth has been planned, most likely right down to the last details. Before you can say I've no choice in any matter, let's just say there is free will in every being. Who says I've no choice. But because I've made a decision, I'm keeping to it. I took the leap of faith. It's hard to leap right back to the unbelieving.
So therefore, coincidences I believe not. No one is here by chance. SA's wonderful words outside the General Office. Every point of contact, every person I'm friends with, everything that has happened are God's wonderful plan for me or even for this other person. Soooo, I can look at these things out of curiousity and amusement, but nah, I'm taking it with barely a pinch of salt.
But if you are talking about personalities through astrology and ba zi, that's prolly a whole new ball game. Personality is basically shaped by all the things in the person's life and within the person himself. My take, a pinch of salt will do just fine. It's really more out of curiousity and interest as to whether these things are really accurate. Perhaps you could say that what's the difference between these 2? I'd think that one could be rather spot-on while one could be a pack of rubbish. I mean depending on how many factors are being look into (for personality), it can be inaccurate or accurate. If looking at just attributes of "Pisces" I think I disqualify for many mentioned. Haha.
Hmm maybe can do a research on perception on astrology and choice of mates. Hmmmmmm. Hahaha.
I was told ba zi is actually a form of maths that shows bits and pieces of the person's life plans or something. So it's actually not some mystical woo-hoo. And thus alright to some degree. If that's so then it's alright to believe in it some? My cousin was pretty spot on on some things when he helped look into mine. Pretty interesting. His software cost him $100 k? No joke hor. Haha. But again, don't think too much into it. And besides, don't parents like warn their children never to disclose their time of birth to any old one? Whether it's just a chinese thing or not, there are some things that we shouldn't trifle with.
As for astrology, don't how the whole thing began, but it's most likely they did some observations, groupings, generation of attributes and such. I don't know. But because the lay people usually just look at sun signs, personality can really be inaccurate in that sense. If one is to look into all the different houses and such and such, it's a different story. And I think that even with all these stuff to tell you what kind of person you are, depending on how you choose your environment, depending on the choices you make and how you intent to stick to them and on so many more factors, one can turn out quite differently.
These stuff are just but potentials in which the person can have.
A lot of these personality stuff tell you about the potential one can have I believe. Hmm, that's a good view no? Haha.
Maybe I should let him see this post. Haha.
Funny MSN convo we had though.
Wednesday, January 23
-12:16 am
Sometimes, it just amazes me how God works when you just leave the day to Him. I got to read a blog by a pastor from Chrys's blog. And she's inspiring. Almost every post was something about God. It's so full of love and honesty that it captivated me for the entire hour I was at FAL. To think that I didn't even know how to while that one hour away. She got me sitting there absorbed in her accounts and thoughts. Her passion to do SOMETHING to change the world, no matter how small it is is motivating.
Her answer to her prayers only came 10 years later. She's finally in a position which gives her great advantage to do the things she wanted to do all those years ago. All those years before were preparations, I believe, given by The Almighty. It's heartening that perhaps the youth scene and the country are going get some radical changes as youths like us or even the younger ones grow up to make a change. I don't believe that she's the only one who's going to do something about it. God is implementing His plans in ways I cannot see right now, but I think they will be wonderful changes. It's pretty exciting to me to to see all these changes.
I always have a yearn to do something. Great or life-changing. Matter of pride? Maybe. But I don't have the guts for it. And as for what to do, I really don't know. Being involved in the children ministry is something I don't regret for now. It's as though that grouchy me in some post back in November has gone with the wind. Now it's something that is so wonderful that I look forward to it. If anyone has been praying for me to accept this part of my life, then I thank you so much. Maybe part of the reason for this is because there's someone whom I can look up to and is motivating enough to push me to give the best to the children in church. Let the children go to Him, is what Jesus said. It's fulfilling to see the children being enriched and growing in God's love. They may be miscreants once in a while but often their innocence and honesty are so refreshing in this world. No wonder Jesus said that we should all be like children in our faith - so trusting and true.
Perhaps children ministry is my calling. I don't know. All I know now is just do the things I'm supposed to do, with all my heart, soul and will. It's going to be hard. It's going to be full of obstacles. Family, work, future, friends, the children. It seems like they are going to be tough to juggle this year.
One more thing: I prolly had better start on those damn letters to fellowship people. They seem long overdue. The urge to write my thoughts to them have already surfaced at least twice. I don't want to sound lectur-ish nor command-ish. I think that's why I had hesitated. My only hope that it will build them up. Being a leader wasn't something which I'd embraced well nor it was something I was willing to identify with. However, I've been shaped that way (to be a pseudo-like leader) , willingly or not, by God's grace. I guess I had better really start to learn to be a good one at that.
Being a responsible leader, someone who is more gentle at heart, someone who is willing to love God more each day, someone is more Christ-like and someone who is less evil with her tongue and thoughts are my goals for 2008. Build me up Lord as I know you are doing for the past few years. Perhaps it will take more than 10 years. Perhaps it won't. But I know You are always there for me.
This is probably the first time since the entire year has began that I felt so.. good. Less empty I guess.
Casting away those thoughts that burden my heart now is a good move as well.
Friday, January 18
-2:13 am
A recruitment that wasn't like a recruitment. Haha.
More like an informal gathering for the entire committee.
I love events cell! I'm so glad everyone is in the committee. We are so fun!
Thursday, January 17
-12:11 am
I applied for
INSTEP!
Felt like a great rock has been lifted off my shoulders. Haha. I felt very stressed while making all the application - 'cause need to check if the schools got my subjects or not, worrying if they can even be matched or not. How come it's not as easy as just trying to get into the programme without thinking so much of all these. Then financial woes. Although my parents said not to worry, I'm still determine to pay abit of the expenditure. I feel like a superb spendthrift just by clicking on the "submit" button. Oh well, it's not as though I'm going to be a shoo in for the programme anyway. Still have to wait for HSS's approval.
I applied for Canada and the UK. =]
I don't mind going whichever country though Canada has more interesting modules. But then I can get to spend Christmas at UK! (hopefully) Oh joys!
Let's hope the results will come out great! =]]
Wednesday, January 9
-6:41 pm
Scratch 3 term papers. Make that 4. Even a 3AU worth of elective has to go do this to us. The PA department seems like to be on a crusade to make students learn their worth during their stay here. Professors, who knew.
I'm pretty bored out of my mind now. I've got nothing to do, (actually is got, but my eyes are getting really tired) and my roommate is far away at home in AMK. (I wanna go home too!) I've a stupid meeting to attend - because I'll just go there and get freeze by the much hated air-con and because I've already missed the first two. Kinda guilty about it. 25 programmers for a 60 people FOC is kinda alot huh? That was pointed out by Keni when I told her about this. Hmm, honestly I don't know why they had need so many. Open House only got 3, but then again, we don't have free rein of everything. Job scope also rather different. Shouldn't compare.
Got a new top yesterday at Far East. Felt so nice buying from the lady and I bet her stuff are Korean. Haha. Makes me want to frequent her shop more since she's so nice. Now I need a white skirt, think it should complement that top. And new heels. Gonna wear it for Church's 100th anniversary dinner and for Chinese New Year. And I think I'll forgo skinny jeans until Singapore Sale comes about. I just don't like New Future's. Don't know it's a sub-conscious dislike 'cause it's associated with teenagers or I just don't like the cutting. I don't like to buy stuff from Zinc and Ink for the same reason.
Oh brand snob!
Time for some dinner.
Tuesday, January 8
-1:35 am
First day of school is uneventful.
Except we learn that we have to write term papers. Like for all psychology modules. 4AUs. And this is what we are going to slave for.
Seems like payback time for all the slacking for the past 3 semesters.
Saturday, January 5
-12:39 am
THE FIRST SHOP OF COFFEE PRINCE!I finished the entire series in DAYS. I love the chemistry between the 2 couples. This is the second Korean drama I've finished as an entire series. Hahahaha. And they were both works of Yoon Eun Hye. Just coincidence I guess. No particular fan of hers. But she's really pretty.
Go Eun Chan. "Man of the Family". Boy's cut, easily mistaken as a boy but I think she's too pretty and delicate to be a male even with her tomboyish attire. Yes she has an unbeatable appetite and belt in taekwando but I seriously wonder how did Han Kyul mistaken him as a boy. Just because she was so boorish when he first met her? Ayes and because of the mistaken gender identity, they drove themselves into such torture.
Choi Han Kyul. Stupid man but with a big capacity for love. Aw man, he's so cute when he's in love and when he finally knows Eun Chan is a female. Who won't kill for him (or rather the character with such fine looks and bod. Tall man with hot bod. Aw.) as their boyfriend. I think gays would like him to be as well. Haha. This picture hasn't done enough justice on his killer grin yet. Yah but I love it when he's smiling so happily. *floats* Yet with great love, comes with great jealously. He guards over Eun Chan's everything so fiercely. Like they are only for his eyes. A man who can't tolerate so much of a grain in his love. But he grew in the show. And I just love taiwanese forums/blogs when they analysed the characters so deeply that they are so much larger than life.
Choi Han Sung. Another stupid man with a big capacity of love. Maybe it's just the Choi family. Haha. While Han Kyul is endearing, he's charming and makes you wanna root for him in his love journey. He has got this bottomless pit of forgiveness and "bao rong" that it makes you wanna kick his butt and make him forget all about Yoo Ju. Yet they are so perfect for each other you can't bear to tear them apart. I think Yoo Ju and him are the "opposite attract" kind of couple whose love is deep that their differences just have to take a break on the bench. They tried bending and compromising so much that they got back together even after breaking up twice. 12 years of relationship by the end of the series and it still feels like they are a newly-attached couple. Such relationships are hard to come by no? Being in love the entire stretch of your relationship. I've always heard things go stale by first year or even months. Without any ups and downs, one prolly get bored soon.. But anyway, he's really the nice ajuushi (uncle) whom one can always count on even though you may have to be cautious that he may turn his attention on you.
Han Yoo Ju. Beautiful woman with a very free spirit. So free because she believes in the faithfulness of Han Sung's love. So free because she was spoiled for marriage by her mother's countless marriages. So free because that's the way she is. Tried as she might, sometimes Han Sung's love maybe too stifling for her. Too steady too perhaps. Ah well, but she changed too in the show. Compromising for Han Sung because she loves him too much. The unplanned baby wasn't enough to change her lifestyle and realised that hurt Han Sung much. Oh she treasure them both but work is still important. (She's an artist.) But in the end, she did shift her priorities. Kudos for her to find common ground. I guess being too strong headed is just doing more harm than good for any relationship.
Anyway, the show is ... different I guess. A little like coffee. At least for me. 'cause it can be sweet with huge tinges of bitterness. You feel for the characters and the 4-sided relationships that just loves to make it's appearance in Korean dramas. Then when you see them in love, you wanna jump right in and be the female leads 'cause the males' love are so overwhelming and warm and just pure sweetness. But it's rather torturous to see Han Kyul mulling over if he should accept his feelings for the "male" Eun Chan. On one moments he seems like he doesn't care yet on the other, he avoids her like a plague. Ahh. No wonder Eun Chan wants to kill him for it. Rarh. Then when he knew, he went ballistic. He'd been adjusting himself for loving a man and then boom. She's a female! It's understandable since it seems like he'd been played for a fool as the whole world knew that she's a she. But well, doesn't that just mean they can finally enter a normal relationship. He wrecked himself over nothing. Poor sod. Haha.
Catch it if you can. It's up on Channel U too.
But this isn't enough to convert me into a Korean fan.
JAPAN IS STILL NUMBER ONE!! NIHON!!!!!!!!!
Friday, January 4
-11:58 pm
Hi Lo! How's the new year been to everyone? Hope it was good. :]
Mine started with an unenthusiastic first round of countdown. Haha. No one was paying particular attention to the countdown on telly since we had groups of people playing Sabouteur, Bridge, Mahjong, and eating/drinking round the kitchen table. It was only the drinks ie ALCOHOL has been distributed then we had the "real" countdown. We had Absolute Vodka: Raspberry courtesy of Bethia - tasted a little like medicine. Think raspberry is just like that. Bleh. And fried chicken and satays all the way from Food Republic! Yummy! We also pranked on Bethia's parents when they came along bearing alcohol. Hehe. Started another countdown when they arrived.
This was their way of fun when they had their Christmas countdown. They made anyone who arrived at the doorsteps start a countdown again. LOLS. The record was 3 times. Who knew adults could be so quirky. I guess that comes with the benefit of partying with people whom you have known for your entire life. It's not just one person but a whole group of 40 - 50 years old who don't seem to know the meaning of
old. Hee. I'd like our fellowship like that, along with our spouses to have fun into the new year or just into Chrstmas, even when we are middle-aged. That means at least 20 more years to go!
Had the chance to play
Wii!
Wii is FUN! Oh man. You really just have to swing your arms, legs, whatever you are supposed to use and you can really play it as though using the racket, ball etc. Do whatever you want, no matter how exaggerated the movements can be, oh the fun-ness it trying to be funny. Hahaha. It's addictive la. One can really slim down on the sports game. It's really tiring. Though not sweating but I think the arms can get enough exercise in one day just with Wii. Oh the beauty!
-please do not mind the tech geek.-
I didn't sleep! Man, almost broke my record. But I dozed off at Jumanji. Hahaha. Kristen Dunst was oh so young. :]
Oh almost forgot!
Met up with 04s62 on 28th Dec. Yay-ness! I love class outings. The girls have become prettier and the guys have become more handsome. Haha. Didn't do much, just went to Settlers and showed off our deviousness. I guess it's a given when one came from a class made of 22 girls and 2 guys. :] I always love our class for being able to come together as one despite the many cliques. We can break away for a while and mixed for games, group work or whatsoever.
Game Recommendation: Sequences. That's where we showed off our deviousness! Red team ruled the both time we played. Hahahahaha. It was a good time to catch up with my OWN clique even though we are in the same school. We hardly see each other around. -sobz- And poor Bel is all the way in Bukit Timah cramming hordes of Law. I miss you Bel for all the time at the cafe, reading room and balcony where we listen to your mp3s and yakking away about God, friends and just indulging in pure fangirl-ing.
Then I met up with Keni and Ming Fang at The Central on the 29th. Tried
Waraku Pasta. Nice but I think MF and I were more attracted to the Ramen Store next to Waraku Restaurant. So authentic! Even though there were only 2 types of ramen. But the chef just cook right in front of you and serve it steaming hot. Isn't that some kind of wonderful one can't get anywhere and everywhere? That's why Japanese cuisine is so great. The chef really cares about the presentation of his food ie LOVING HIS FOOD and how the customers feel. Aiyes, more such Japanese restaurants please!
And now onto Coffee Prince!
