Everyone needs compassion
And love that never fails
Let mercy fall on me
When everyone needs forgiveness
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender
Shine a light in and
let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and
let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king
yourstruly
Janice.
twenteen two. pisces.
Child of God.
Hosanna. blessed.
HSS Psy. CCF.
OH Events.
What a reminder. Haiz. After every 3 months into the semester, we are reminded of the examinations. And during that 3 months, we are rushing through projects, assignments, presentations and tests that time just run away happily on its 2 arrows. How the hell do we enjoy university life? Is it through the little things that you do with your neighbours during block suppers? Is it the little outings in the middle of the night with your friends to who knows where? (But alas, that's only if there's a driver and a car around.) Is it the little bazaars which the various clubs organised for the everyone (but seriously, I think it's also for those deprived hall people like me who don't venture out of school during the week haha.) Perhaps it is the summation of these things that make life a little more colourful than mugging.
I'm glad of hall life. Haha.
This quote is very meaningful too. =]
...too slow for those who wait ...too swift for those who fear ...too long for those who grieve ...too short for those who rejoice
but for those who love, time is eternity."
H. Van Dyke
Tuesday, March 27
-9:19 am
"Judges, however, presents these men as flawed people who nevertheless responded to God’s call during a time of spiritual darkness in their culture. The Bible honors them for their faith, not for their perfection. They were recipients of God’s grace as surely as we are." Daily Bread
Lala, hope this will help you. Haha. I don't think God honours you for your perfection but your faith. If you have one that you are proud of, then just try not to think so much of other's standards. After all, we are all men. We are NOT perfect. .. Hmmm so actually, there's no such thing as perfection for us no? I know we all have standards for ourselves, I do too, and will berate ourselves so much that it hurts sometimes. But there is always a way out of our planned route. So don't be despair if you are not up to your leaders' standards. Trust me I know the feeling of not (or thinking I'm not) living up to people's standards, especially those who are looking up to you or expecting a lot. Well, just let the spirit of God be with you while leading worship. This is a time for God, bringing everyone to Him, not a performance to show how good you are. Jia you! Haha.
I'm finally going out to watch movies!!!!!!! Haha, Mr Teh and I finally have some common timeslot. Aiyes, thanks for coming down to Planet Boon Lay. =] I'm so excited at the prospect of seeing the big screens and ultra good sound systems again. My home entertainment system (meaning my laptop) are not very inviting ya know? lols. 300 here I come!!!
While looking through First magazines, (though almost outdated since it's coming to the end of march) I realised I missed out on ALOT of good movies. There's like Babel, A Pursuit of Happyness (why they spelled it this way I'll never know), Letters from Iwo Jima and so much more that I wanted to watch but never had the chance. Now that the exams and holidays are drawing near, I must make do of lost time! Anyone has any of these movies??!?! Good movies are coming out too! Breaking and Entering - Jude Law!!! Freedom Writers looks good too with Hiliary Swank. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Can anyone say "cowabunga"? haha. Spidey 3 is coming out in May, Mr Potter prolly in July. I think I'm going to be broke. But they'll be worth it. =]
All rights I need to go prepare for my presentation rehearsal. Bah. Screw this semester for so many projects and presentations to do. And I thought I could get away with all that by being in Psychology. xp
Wednesday, March 21
-8:40 pm
lalala.
i don't feel like doing work at all. come back hall is just to study. no television programmes to watch because mediacorp is not doing a good job to keep us entertained. haha. the internet also very sian since youtube and tudou load so slowly and wacky-ly. haiz. no life like that lor. everyone keep saying that to me 'cause also very hard to go out to watch movies on weekdays. =p haiz, but even if i'm not staying in hall, alot of my friends are. they wouldn't want to go out and watch movies ba, when they can go back hall and rest.
sians. =p
-2:13 am
"this is what you are supposed to cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game.. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things about themselves as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog."
I've done this before but I don't remember what I wrote. Hahha
1) I've a peeve for doing things step-by-step until I found a shortcut to make things better. If not, I'll just get irritated when people don't do it that way. (I'm trying to change though. Seriously.)
2) I can investigate some things so doggedly that it frustrates me too. Because like that I won't start on serious work. =[
3) I can never sleep past 9 am if I am a good girl and fall asleep at 11pm/12am. My body clock is very well-tuned to the "8hours" demand.
4) I like old things. Not necessarily vintage stuff. Just... old things like watching sailormoon on youtube now. I like the sentimental feelings associated to these old things. Sailormoon reminds me of the old days of exchanging stickers and reading fanfiction just so to fantasize more. hahaha.
5) I can want something so much that I can don't buy it in the end. Because of the lack of 'want'. =p
6) I dream of finding 'Him' constantly.
7) And I don't know how to deal with people who are overly friendly. They frighten me some. Hahah.
I'm not going to tag anyone, 'cause most of the people I know don't blog anymore or they blog inconsistently. Bleh. And I doubt many read my blog anyway. Haha.
It's raining now! =] But the clothes hanging outside may get wet. Ahs, oh well.
Now that you are going away, perhaps it will be new start for me too. Because instead of dwelling on what if, what could have beens, it is better to look ahead. Who knows what God will bring. It's most likely we'll just stay as friends.
Monday, March 19
-10:24 pm
this is the one i wanna buy. =] it's a pretty thing no? but then when i tried on the shoes on sunday, the feeling wasn't as fantastic as i thought it would be. =p maybe they have to be worn in to feel the extremely 'comfortable-ness' which everyone is touting about it. and when i buy it, it will be the most expensive single thing i have ever bought in my 20 years on this earth. haha. $80 over, wah seh. i hope the external justification is enough for this pair of sandals.
oh my uncle found me this greatest deal. haha. $65 for a re-fitted zen micro. how great is that? it's a 6gb gadget and it's only $65! the thing is, it's not even second-hand. it's just because there was something wrong with the chip, so people come and exchange for a new one. so this old one got refitted with a new chip, therefore it's almost completely new! =D
now i feel like i'm just posting for the sake of posting and these posts seem a little meaningless to me. i dunno if this is because of the lack of spiritual life.. there are some things which i reflected on but then i'm never near the computer to write them down. maybe i should get a notebook so that i can bring it to everywhere i go. or maybe after knowing that there are some people who read this blog, this sense of restriction comes in. i don't want them to know too much. it brings away in my freedom to really write what i'm feeling.
as i reflected in all the years since i've started to keep a diary - which was way back in p6, i find that writing down my thoughts helps me mature. it helps me be more sensible because with one point, i can find myself thinking about another and this leads to a whole chain of thoughts. at one point, i probably will stop myself because the thoughts would have become too narcissistic or self-absorbing to continue. i had disgusted myself. bleh. somehow i just know that that train was wrong. maybe that was the holy spirit talking to me. =] if it really was, then i thank the lord for this wonderful experience. i really want to get back to this sense of.. i don't know, belonging? closeness to my spiritual side. it makes more sense to me and gives stability in my life. if not, my life feels chaotic and without order. everything and everyone thrown into the mix, not knowing my priorities, disappointing myself with stupid behaviours.
"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does." - 2 Corinthians 10:3
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." - Romans 12: 2-3
i have always tried not to want what everyone wants. but it's becoming harder when now i have the financial capabilities. like i said to some, if want to spend money, then must earn for it. it's not fair for my mother now to pay for everything i want. (actually she never did buy me a lot of things which i want. hahah) she has already given me allowance and i'm already staying in hall, which she was pretty much against. hmm i don't know how much she was against to it (my family don't show our disapproval very publicly. we don't do shouting kind of fights. hahaha.) but i know she had prefer i stayed at home. on a side note, when i mentioned that i wasn't heading out last saturday, i could tell that she was extremely happy even she just said 'good'. aiyes, my family is a very 'at home' kind of people. i think i am very if compared to my peers. seems like not a lot of people like to stay at home. but anyway, yeah, i need to relearn how not to want so many things. need to be more contented and refrain from wanting this and that. in the end, when i die, all these things won't be going to heaven with me. and God doesn't care we store treasures on earth because those in heaven are more important. i can't really tell you what are the treasures in heaven because i don't know much too. so i need to learn more about my God. there are so much to know but so little time.
i must wage this war of materialism!
someone please be my spiritual buddy. =\ let's help each other. haha, where are you when i really need you in times like this, my "The One".
Thursday, March 15
-5:50 pm
I'm under Ms Snow's command to blog about my birthday. Well...
Happy 20th to me! =] Looking back at past entries, I've never been able to blog on the day itself. But like always, I had enjoyed myself tremendously on my birthday. Hmmm.. Received well-wishes over MSN and SMS once it past midnight. Thanks to all who remembered!
Anyway, after lecture on tuesday, my NTU friends were celebrating with me, but then a surprised guest turned up! I was really shocked. I even blurted out "WHAT IS REUBEN DOING HERE?" The remark didn't even register into my brain until it got out. Turned because he happened to walk past HQ and PJ when they were preparing the candles. I don't know if he was hurt by my bluntness hahah. It's a little mean, now that I have 2 days to cool down after the whole event. Because he just gives me weird vibes. He is too over friendly lor. Think he was more enthusiastic about the celebration than me la. First one to suggest to move because the candles couldn't light up (because of the fan on the ceiling), then suggesting to move a guy away from the bench so we could have it. Argh! It's comical if it wasn't my birthday. Bet the rest had fun watching my reactions. -__-
PJ came out with the weirdest thing to do with the cake and candles. I had to blow the candles from afar, pick up the candles with my mouth and lick up the pieces on the tray. Of course I didn't comply! So paiseh lor. That sounds vaguely familiar hahaha. Aiyah, just heck care her. But now I know who to look for when I need ideas for weirdness. She can really come up with the kookiest ideas. The photos are with Chrystella. Have to get it from her..
Then I met up with YS they all at PS later. Had dinner at Ichiban Sushi. Whee my second or third time there I think. Almost had a sushi meal because SL backed out from that choice at the last minute. Aiyes so sad. But never mind, the set which I had was fantastic too! There was sashimi, saba fish, and tempura prawns. And CHAWAMUSHI!!!!!!!! Oh man, it's uber fantastic la. Better than Sakae. Actually everything is better and it's just a little more expensive than Sakae. I should just go patronise it everytime I want Japanese food.
YS's good job hahhah.
pressies! thanks roomie and snow =]
Monday, March 12
-1:14 am
Shopping list:
- Papillo (I've got money from all the OH stuff k? wahahhahah) - Pumps - Bags - Belts - Final Fantasy PC games - Good deals to Taiwan - Jobs -__________-
I'll do the tagged thing on a later time.
Sleep time.
Wednesday, March 7
-12:09 pm
i didn't like how the discussion went on in class yesterday. i know everyone is entitled to have their own opinion and views and would like to be respected for it. but somehow, being "liberal" has taken on a firm grasp on everyone's mind. is being conservative wrong? being liberal doesn't mean to flaunt everything without qualms. just because things have turned out in some way, we have to accept it? if people are capable of engaging sex without emotions, why are there so many accounts of tragedies around? or maybe they are really capable, that's why the sex industry have been kept around for so long. but in the end, people also wants to have a happy ending. in stories, love almost always prevails. real life may not be as lucky but have anyone really asked what they want?
i felt like as though they are trying to convince us that their way is the way to be. but then, on my side, i wanted them to feel the way which i think is correct. guess we are feeling despair for the other camps.
at times like these, i wonder if "global village" is really a good thing. of course we get to do things more efficiently and earn more money. but that's prolly about it. it strips away everything that doesn't have economical or monetary value. even now when governments conserve some heritage is also for the thought of earning tourism money. okay that's not fair to them, but then, how much truth is in that statement?
besides, we are considered conservative because the other culture has defined things THEIR way. a matter of perception remember? perhaps it's not that chinese are conservative, just that they felt that matters of the bed belong to the husbands and wives. they can be as amourous as the western counterparts, but why flaunt. it's sad. how come the mexicans can be so proud of their doritos and culture? the spanish with their flamingo dance and passion? the english with their fish and chips and prim and properness? perhaps china is still awakening, everything west is so much superior. perhaps all it takes is to have some ang mo to appreciate the "goodness" of the chinese culture, then suddenly the whole globe of chinese people start to have some appreciation for their OWN culture. i seriously wonder how those who went abroad as a "banana", felt when their friends ask if they knew about the own heritage. do they feel shame, guilt or just plain nonchalance?
yes i'm a big sucker for history and all that. that's why i love about europe. it's steep in culture, history and age-old time.
that aside, maybe i had chosen abstinence mainly because i hate trouble of any kind, other than religious teachings. i'd rather be a virgin than to fear whether i've contracted any STDs or got myself pregnant. why live life so recklessly? but people would have said, their life, their choice.
no wonder the world is becoming lonelier.
but of course, i only know how to preach. taking the step forward towards action is another matter. so please God, help me.
Friday, March 2
-1:22 pm
yays i'm finally blogging. had alot of things to write, but really, sometimes they are too troublesome to be pen down. and well, it's just weird to be blogging in front of my family, especially my dad who is always hovering around the computer to check his stuff. lest he ask what i'm doing, i'd better not blog.
well, valentine's have come and gone. there wasn't anything much going on, except for a few messages. haha. people do celebrate international friendship day after all. it wasn't such a hype up event in school as well. not much pinks and hearts floating around, decorating the school. or is it just in can b where the nbs people are? hmm. cuz i saw some pictures in friendster where the event was very much publicised. haha.
as for chinese new year, hmm. i've got a good collection of ang pows! =]]]]]] please faster get married my dear cousins. wahahhahah. so we can collect more ang pows. heh. so fun to be in a big family. it was packed to the brim with cousins, newphews, nieces, aunties and uncles. and who can forget the matriach of the family? =] took some photos of the family but they are all in my laptop. shall upload them whenever possible.. and speaking of that, i feel like switching over to shutterfly. it's nicer. haha. yahoo photos are rather bland.
Reira starring Yuna Ito - Truth
By Trapnest for Nana 2 movie (It's not a real j-rock band. It's based on a manga [Jap comic] by Ai Yazawa.) Love this group la. Too bad I'm not into punk rock which the other band is into.
Truth – Reira starring Yuna Ito
Let me stay with you Kizutsuke au no ni Naze konna ni motomete shimau no Don’t you know my heart ? Sunao ni narezu ni ita no Tada hitotsu no ai ga hoshii no ni
Meguriaeta kiseki wo shinjite Kanadete yukitai anata e no melody Moshi mo subete wo nakushite shimatte mo Kono omoi wa eien na no It’s my truth
Believe in yourself Tsumazuita toki mo Aruitekita namida wo nugutte Open up your heart, omoide no saki ni kitto Ashita to iu kibou ga aru kara
Give me your loneliness And I’ll give you my tenderness Wasurenai de ite ano hi mita yume wa Hanareteite mo kono mune ni itsudemo Kanjite iru anata dake wo It’s my truth
Tsunagaru hoshi ga sasayaki kakeru Tomadou kokoro wo te ga shinagara Deai to wakere hito wa sagasu no Itsuka musubi aeru tsuyoi kizuna wa
Sekaijuu no kanashimi mo subete Uketomete mo ii anata no tamenara Sekaijuu kara okizari ni sarete mo Sono hitomi wo shinjite iru It’s my truth
Translation Let me stay with you even if it hurts both of us Why must I always demand so much Don’t you know my heart could never stay put There’s simply only one love I want
Believing in miracles we can come across I go on playing a melody for you Even if I end up losing everything This feeling is forever, It’s my truth
Believe in yourself even when you stumble Wipe your tears as you walk on Open up your heart beyond the memories, surely There is a hope we call tomorrow
Give me your loneliness and I’ll give you my tenderness Don’t forget the dream we saw that day Even if we’re separated, in this heart I will feel you forever, It’s my truth
Your whisper reaches the scattered stars Illuminating my confused heart In every encounter and farewell, what people search for is This strong bond that will unite them someday
All the sadness throughout the world If it’s for you, I can take it all in Even if the whole world deserts me I believe in those eyes, It’s my truth
Reira starring Yuna Ito - Endless Story By Trapnest for Nana 1 movie. This is good too. =]
Alright tatas.
I love march too by the way. =] It's the most relaxing month after Feburary which was absolutely horrible, with tests and assignments and presentations to rush. Not to forget the teaching stint every 3 months in church. At least with Open House soon to be over, I can finally concentrate on my studies and teaching tuition.
