Everyone needs compassion
And love that never fails
Let mercy fall on me

When everyone needs forgiveness
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation

Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender

Shine a light in and
let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and
let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king

Janice.
twenteen two. pisces.
Child of God.
Hosanna. blessed.
HSS Psy. CCF.
OH Events.

-12:56 am

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

CUDDY AND HOUSE?!

I can't believe my eyes. I can't even bear to look at the scene.

HAHAHA.

But Cuddy and House?! It wasn't surprising. I suspected it last week when House froze after Cuddy announced she's getting an adopted baby. So something's wrong. I know House has something for Cuddy, it's made clear around season 3/4 or vice versa? But still? He was pretty down after been rejected by Stacy again in season 2. But Cuddy and House?!

Oh man. I hope next week's episode don't open with them waking up together or something.

Oh wow.


-4:26 pm

I was feeling extremely down yesterday.

Felt damn useless. Trashy. Worthless.

In a psychology talk, my self-esteem was rock-bottom.

In the end, I never did can handle criticisms in areas that I am concerned with. My tests results weren't fantastic, especially HP305. Of course I know that it's not too late to salvage anything but the fact that there are so many other people who are better than you, and it's impossible for them to hit any snag at this point of time, and therefore making even a lesser chance for a recovery is depressing. While I'm making progress with my procrastination, it's not exactly picture of absolute happiness.

Then when I found out that we were being scolded for our actions, I wasn't too particularly ecstatic about it too. Maybe we really didn't see him as part of us, but can you blame us when we keep having so many changes over the years that we don't know who really are our pillar(s) of support? Him being a newbie doesn't salvage the situation any better at all.

It doesn't help when people or people who you wish are receptive, weren't particularly receptive about the mood changes at all.

Sometimes I can't wait to end my studies quickly because then, a large part of my self-worth is no longer hinges on it. Psychology is a damn interesting major to be in, but I just hate it when people are forever asking "so what are you going to do in the future?" I can't exactly tell them that actually I don't mind being a administrative officer. Anything related in the financial world doesn't interest me. Childcare services doesn't pay very well too. In the end, I am still worried about bills and such. Furthering my studies is an option, but where do we get the money to go on further? And again what do I with it after I come back?

Spiritually, the fact that I am at odds with some ideologies with some people doesn't bide well with me. It's tiring to second-guess consistently.

Edit:
This is an old post. But I know what are the issues I was trying to raise. In the end, we can't do anything about the things above. And she's leaving because of health issues. She's exactly what I thought a pastoral leader should be. But now she's leaving. There are people who left and want to leave already. Can you really blame them for doing it? Your pool of loyalists are limited and now they seem to be over-strained. Can you blame them being like that? We are supposed to expand bountifully. Really? We are not the generation to bring in new blood, we are too over-stretched in everything. They are the ones who can bring in people. They have lesser responsibilities than us at that age. And perhaps it is indeed God's will in this. But whatever it is, I only pray that we will always have the energy to do everything that He has entrusted to us.


-11:16 pm

Alright so I do have a flair for the theatrics.

I should learn not to see things to the extreme. It's hard to keep an opinion when there are so many conflicting information coming in at different times that I don't know how to assimilate them all.

Does this call for discrimination?

Sometimes you don't know when to follow the crowd because you don't want to be the odd one out, sometimes you don't know when you shouldn't follow the crowd because you know that deep inside your gut feeling tells you no and you will feel lonely by being alone.

I call only pray for discernment and wisdom to know how to separate fact, fiction, lies and truth.


-11:13 pm

Haiz this was supposed to be a self-pity post.

But after thoughts made it a ... this post. I don't know what it is anyway.

As I write, it got more ridiculous. There's no need to share such meaningless stuff. I'm itching to write in-depth stuff hahahaha. I want to share my thoughts on something but I can't seem to find a topic as easily as I used to be. Maybe nothing triggers off inspiration as easily as school life in a classroom. Now that studying is more of an individual thing - because you don't get to forge really meaningful relationships beyond tutorial rooms, you don't get to spend time listening and observing your fellow classmates. And it's weird writing on strangers, though I seemed to have no qualms getting material from them. Sometimes.

I can't get material off books now because my readings are restricted mostly to journal articles and the newspapers. And you can't exactly spout thoughts on all that kind of thing because for fear of appearing stupid and shallow. HAHA. Yes I'm that thin-skinned. On life and such, well, it's my way of life versus your way of life, so maybe I just can let it be known without fear.

Everyday is just wake up, go school for lectures, go for tutorials, come back, pia deadlines and sleep. It's so boring. While back then the routine was like that too, but you get to talk to people more. Inspiration much?

so maybe she doesn't like you all that much too (but then, her personality may just be like that anyway). hahaha. in a way, i'm glad. it goes to show some things. that our biasness is not exactly biasness. it can be a fact. some people don't see it because they are 1) less cynical, 2) loves you more than they hate you, 3) ignorant (in a guileless way), or 4) in denial. hmm. good luck to you. i'll continue to pray. but only for the good of our community.


-4:55 pm

I'm getting my ass along to do my behavioural modification programme for HP320. It's really a pain in the ass.

The fact that my brother has left for Australia, leaving his PSP in MY care (muahahha) and the fact that I have started on Hot Shot, are another hindrance in getting things done. I'm so done for.

I haven't touched my book since Thursday when I got back from church in the evening.

God save my studious soul from rotting. Sighs.


-2:29 pm


Why is it that the skies in Singapore can't be so blue? Even in the brightest and sunniest day, the blue of the skies seem so much more pale. Is it because of the sun that is shining too brightly that fails to bring out the contrast? Or maybe it's just the effect of the camera?

I want to see the skies of Japan. Is it also different from Singapore? Taipei's still a little Singapore. I can't wait for two years to come by quickly because then I will be in Japan with Bel! Actually by now, we would have been back for a few months. But still..

really need to get back on that essay now. Sighs.


-12:18 am

It's disheartening to see you this way.

It's sad too.

'cause you don't look like you anymore.

I feel responsible because I pointed you in that direction. And now I'm determined to see you getting help.

Does knowing makes one worse or just slightly better? For now, the road of recovery seems so much clearer, at least for you.

I hope by shedding more light, it will definitely be better.

Jia you and don't despair!


-12:22 am

It's been a weird day today.

Freaking weird.

Got a bad stomach from drinking a bottle Starbucks Mocha. Felt like vomiting for the whole afternoon before eating porridge. Don't know if it's the mocha's fault or it's just because I haven't eat lunch. Sighs.

Then this uncle sitting beside me almost lost his ez-link card. Kept looking high and low for it when he was about to alight. In the end, it turned out that he dropped it in front. So funny. Haha. But he seemed like a nice uncle, quite a sad thing to let his mom alight first.

Then there's this weird person who called. Damn it. Do I look like someone who just go out with you just because you claimed that you are from somewhere I used to go to? I don't even know anyone whose name vaguely sound like his. And he can't seem to read nor type in English. If you are from ZH, there can't be a bloody chance in hell that you don't know English. It's a top 20 secondary school for pete's sake. At least in my time. I'm going to tell him off if he's going to call again. Sharon give me strength! Haha.

Die stalker.


-11:08 pm

I know this song has been out since forever (actually way back in 2002), I've only really registered the lyrics today.

Yes sue me.

Maybe I did realised it years ago, but the revelations seem so much more real now.


Romantic right?

No I'm not hiding any secrets.

Anna
Bethia
Chrystella
Eunice
Hosanna*
Hui Ming
Hui Qun
Hui Ting
Li Jie
Liwen
Mavis
Mindy
Pamela
Sharon
Shermin
Shuzi
Wan Xin
Wei Ting
Yit Shan
Yunli



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