lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
And love that never fails
Let mercy fall on me
When everyone needs forgiveness
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender
Shine a light in and
let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and
let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king
Saturday, April 29
-7:50 pm
So it was that that caused so much unhappiness.
Hmm, I agree it was irritating. Well, he has always been an insensitive prat.
Friday, April 28
-11:05 pm
Honestly speaking, I'm a little upset that they didn't get along well. Or rather, just one side of the party. I could feel that on the onset, everything was a little off skew. But I didn't say much or think too much of it, since things seemed to get a little better after some time.
Apparently, it didn't.
I doubt it was because something went wrong but more of things were never right in the first place! Probably we are seeing each other too frequently, and friction, after all brings about heat. Whether it's a good kind or bad kind, that's another matter. Now, it's definitely the bad kind. From the way I see it, it was something similiar to what I was experiencing just a few months ago. But of course, they may beg to differ.. But to the root of it all, it's really about the flaws that we see in these other people right? Something that we cannot accept and respect.
[I find myself giving the same advice you had given back that time.]I'd read somewhere that what we can't tolerate in others are actually flaws that we possess ourselves too. Perhaps we are blind to it or perhaps because we are conscious of these flaws in us and therefore try very hard to conceal them, that we are digusted by how blatently these people can display them. <--- this is what i remember of the conclusion given by the reading. Or another explanation could be that we are so opposite of what these people are that we are disgusted by them.. Whatever the case is, I guess one has to search deep into yourself to find the answer. I have made my peace with this particular friend of mine, whom I believe up to this day still has no clue. [Perhaps she has, due to certain people. Haha. But whatever.] I find that after my little conversation with her, I was able to laugh off her flaw that I was touchy about and harbour no vindictiveness towards her.
Praise the Lord. =]
Yes I may not understand why and what you all are facing this, but initially you all never did harbour too friendly thoughts about that person right? Haha.. So well, things just turn sour inevitably, I feel. I'm may be biased in my thinking, but I think I can be because I did spend more time getting to know the person. I supposed different gender interaction and same gender interaction differ. Our viewpoints can be very different. Hmm..
Anyway, I can't say much because I don't know anything and therefore can't psycho-analyse much. Haha. >.< I just hope things will be all right between you people. Oh, I bet a whole lot of people also have their unhappiness with him and you are not the first. Haha. Just hope you all will make your peace. Remember, too much tolerance can lead to volcanic eruptions. Lava may be fertile but it's lethal in early stages. Fatalities can occur. Please do inform us of evcuation earlier so that we can come back and utilise the cooled lava for further fertilisation. =]
[Ok, that was a pack of rubbish.]I supposed friends do need to fall out once in a while, to get to know each other better at least. When things go too smoothly, perhaps it's time for some in depth digging. Because relationships are hardly ever smooth going. Let us all still be friends all right?
Because I don't want to take sides.
Okay, maybe that was a little too extreme but I always tend to be very extremel-ish. Just somehow I can always think of the worst outcome, maybe 'cause I think that the most fragile thing is the relationship between people. But well.. Who knows?
And your last sentence made my antenna peak again. Something is just weird about it.
Sorry, hyper-senstivity is at work once again.
Thursday, April 27
-11:00 pm
My 300th post. =]
I've got my letter from NUS. But where's NTU's and SMU's? =[ A bit sadded.
Saturday, April 22
-3:44 pm
-12:37 pm
Yays, CO concert was smashing! -inserts wolf whistle here-
Despite been to most of their rehearsals and knowing what they would be playing, it was still pretty exhilarating to be sitting down and watching the show. Everything was great. [Nah, I doubt anyone knew there were any mistakes made. Haha.]
Got photos to show, but they are mostly blurred. Sadded. And stupid yq didn't know how to take photos like that, haha, made some of them blurred liao. Blah.
With the xi ke, hxlsnow. Haha.
the alumni!
Whee. So nice. =]
Thursday, April 20
-9:19 pm
Wows, it has been a loooooong time since I've blog. Publicly. haha. Anyway, that was something rather private and inane. Heck, i can't even remember what was it about. Shall go refresh later.
anyway, S got her letter of acceptance from NTU accountancy. My mom's colleague's daughter got HER letter from SMU business. Where's social sciences?! hai, maybe they are a little later. Think I'll be a little jittery in tomorrow's concert, waiting for my mother's sms concerning any letter from the 3 universities.. A little torn between NTU and SMU. Contradictory to what I'd adamantly stated earlier in the year, SMU doesn't seemed that bad after all. If their internship is really that great, surely I do not have to worry about securing a job in the future..
(Especially since I'm studying the social sciences and psychology to be exact - which means venturing into the field of human resources most likely.) Of course, I've to pay my dues to ensure that. Problem is, it's so business based. Not exactly my cup of tea..
NTU, however, can offer what I want - a more broad based study on psychology. Drawbacks? Distance. Blah. It's so far.. I don't want to be so far away from home and church. And from what I've heard, hardly any school life. I'll miss that, especially since I'd enjoyed SA's. YC was right on that aspect.. Hmm. But I had promised S to bunk with her. Haha. Now her mission is to convince me into getting NTU. Anyway, come to think of it, with most of the CO gang living in the west side of Singapore, we can finally have a change in our outing locations! LOLs. Only one poor soul, if he's coming, has to make the trip down but he'll probably have a car by then, so it should be okay right? Lols.
Ah well, let's wait till we get all the letters.
Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, SACO is having the concert tomorrow!!!!!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeees!!!!!!!!! haha. I'm on a high now. Okay, not really la but I'm excited for them. Heh. So fun. Went for their rehearsal yesterday. Had more complains about the teacher in charge. Should have kept my mouth shut, 'course I realized I've nothing constructive to give except complains. Ugly side of the human nature. But really, why us? Just because we are working? Bull man. Serious bull.
Whatever.
Hopefully I can get some good photos in for the concerts and the people involved. Haha tomorrow is photo trigger happy. =D
I want to enjoy Matsuri Live once more!
Sunday, April 9
-9:26 pm
some people just don't know how hurtful words can be.
especially when they come from family.
but i've got comfort.
thank you Lord.
Feeling better now. =]
However, in retrospect, perhaps I do deserve it. People had said I've been too blunt to a fault. Who knows how many sensitive hearts I've wounded with my stupid mouth.
Do not do upon others what you don't want on yourself. And yet they've forgiven me, when I didn't know I should be begging for their forgiveness. I should learn to keep my mouth shut. And listen more. And think more. And be more mature.
Thursday, April 6
-11:16 pm
Yays, had my SMU interview yesterday. Thought it went pretty well. Had rather positive feedback from the interviewers too! =] I'm a happy girl. And I like how they speak good english. Haha, it spurs me to speak as best as I can too. Man, I'm kinda sway to SMU now. Oh no. Think S's gonna kill me. Bleh. And C's right, it doesn't feel like a school. It's more like.. i don't know, conference room in some hotel or what. It just doesn't feel like a school with all the seminar rooms and such. It's as though I'm taking a part time course somewhere, instead of full time university undergrad studies. Really I've NO OFFENSE AT ALL. It just give me that kind of feeling.
Blame it on having a rigid/structured form of education that I've received over the years if you want to.
E and H haven't got replies from the school yet but I think 'cause the faculties which they applied for are very competitive.. Maybe it'll take a while for them to reply? Social Sciences, like I'd mentioned, maybe not THAT competitive ba. =p Now I can't wait for a time for me to maybe sit down at starbucks/coffee bean and start flipping through all the pamphlets they had given during the open houses, thinking of where I should really go to. Haiz.
Praying hard for it.
Post camp musings are really coming up. I promise. Hehs.
London trip!!!!!!!!!!! Whee!
Tuesday, April 4
-9:53 pm
Mom's away in the hospital for her regular check up. Dad's oversea. Elder brother is zzz-ing away in his bed. Little brother in the showers. The house is uncharacteristically void of activity. Unusual. Not used to it. Is this what it is going to be like in hostel life? Especially at times when I just wanna coop out in my bed, withering away time.
Anyway, have got SMU interview tomorrow! I'm pretty excited by it, well because everyone said that SMU is pretty selective. With my average A level score and SAT score - bugger, I just barely missed their supposed minimum requirement; I was pretty surprised I got called down. But maybe 'cause I had chosen social sciences, and judging that talk C and I went to that day, maybe there weren't a lot of people who chose to study at SMU's school of social sciences. So in conclusion, they didn't have much to choose from anyway. Haha, that's someone of degrading myself. Bleh. Well, I'll just do my best at tomorrow's essay and interview and hopefully, I can get a place there. At least like that, I will secure a place in a university. =]
With that thought in mind, I came to wonder if I really have the 'want' to study in NTU or is psychology really my interest. I don't know if psychology is what I wanna study or just that I wanna get into NTU's SHSS. What if I get into SHSS, however not into psychology but maybe like sociology or chinese which are things I do have an interest in? Or will I reject NTU's offer and go for SMU (even if their course is more tailored for business/organizational psychology)or NUS (rumored to be more tailored for clinical psychology and without guarantee honours), just so that I can safetly study psychology? I think this is something I need to rethink.
Post camp musing coming up.
Please pray for me regarding these matters and for my health. Got sick again. Boos. But God and pi pa gao work wonders! =D
Happy Birthday Shiling!
