lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
And love that never fails
Let mercy fall on me
When everyone needs forgiveness
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender
Shine a light in and
let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and
let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king
Wednesday, August 24
-6:09 pm
People have been ponning school. The record number of people found during assembly gets rewritten everyday. Today's record, 1 from 04S55. Wonder if any class will have zero attendance. Prelims round the corner! Jia you! [I really doubt anyone will be reading this anyway. Haha]
Ponned maths lecture today. But wasn't really productive, I feel. Talked some with Hester and Isabel. Updated each other with some stuff. Guess after saying that, somethings just feel so much lighter now. And all for the better. Wouldn't say I'm happy but well, at least it's all cleared.
4 days to prelims!
Sunday, August 14
-7:50 pm
13 Someone in the crowd said to Him, "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the family inheritance with me." 14 But He said to him, "Man, who appointed Me a judge or arbitrator over you?" 15 Then He said to them, "Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions." 16 And He told them a parable, saying, "The land of a rich man was very productive. 17 "And he began reasoning to himself, saying, `What shall I do, since I have no place to store my crops?' 18 "Then he said, `This is what I will do: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 `And I will say to my soul, "Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come; take your ease, eat, drink and be merry."' 20 "But God said to him, `You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?' 21 "So is the man who stores up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God." Luke 12:13-21
Has been out 3 times consecutive as a topic to be studied both in chapel and in sunday school today. I guess it's by no coincidence that this had happened. Maybe to some, it isn't, after all everything occurs by chance. But well, since it's from the bible, I'll take my chance. I think it's more of like an advice, a warning likely from God that I'm spending too much time worrying about my studies. And none of the riches I should be accumulating in God's eyes.
What are the riches in God's eyes then? Frankly speaking, I can't give an answer to you. All I know is that, I'm neglecting God. And this has gone far too long and far too much. So much so that He's very displeased. It's one thing to mug hard, which is definitely one of the task He has given me. But it's another to neglect others. For those required in CO, I've committed my best and it has come to an end. But church responsibilities have taken a second seat eversince, sad to say. Now that there is no more CO, I should be paying more attention to church. However, 'should' never did come. Instead, worries for studies multiply. [It's queer to see better time management when one is more occupied with so many tasks and then become so slack when there aren't much to take care of. Or maybe it's just the priorities.] I guess, this gradual change in heart is because of the dismal results obtained in BT2 as well as the ever increasing disgruntle with people.. So.. I guess that pushed me to think more of studies, which is kinda like more tangible. So in short, I forgot what God has promised and what He is like.
Why studies? I guess, I just want good results. Which right-minded student doesn't want that? And afterall, I think that God wouldn't give what that is not deserved ie hard work to get good grades. But I discounted one thing. That He bless those who delights in Him. So.. since He's one to provide all, I shouldn't be worrying that much. Besides, He will give what is best for me and never will He give more than what I can bear. Remembering one of the entries I wrote back then, about my priorities changing, guess it's time for another re-shuffling. No more stubbornness nor petty tempers nor APs. The Lord my God first ie quiet time and such. I wouldn't say church stuff first. But well, because striking a balance between church activities and studies is paramount to have a healthy life. LOLs. To some, the Christian God may seemed to be possessive and demanding. But if you will look it in this way - a parent who is so accommodating and giving you everything you want and need is someone who deserve your respect, obedience, love and time.. There is really nothing that I deserve to have on this earth. All that I have are blessings that He has showered on me. The bible said that the fact we're Christians in the very first place is not because we choose to be one, but because He has chosen us. That is one blessing that can't be repaid at any cost.
What I want ie good A levels results, a fulfilling relationships with family, friends and probably the significant other, a biomedical degree etc are probably not what He has in mind for me. It probably wouldn't be in that order or that factor is NOT even in my life equation. For that I can't do anything about it, since He has other better things for me. Perhaps in the eyes of people they are not but in the first place who's to judge? Haha. All I can do now is to do my best in everything I'm tasked to do, without any
complains or objections [maybe some little whining].
Oh Lord, soften my heart to listen to You and be submissive in your ways. Thank You for listening to my prayer about disciplining me. For that, Lord, I know You have not forsaken me. What I have done in the past Lord, all I can ask is that You will forgive me. And the transgressions to other people, please Lord, may they have the kindness to forgive me too. Lord, heal the rifts that I may have with my fellow brothers and sisters because of my childish behaviour. Lord, You have asked to wait, help me cultivate this trait. For Lord, You will provide.Whew long entry! Wrote this during sermon today. Knew that if I didn't pen it down I'll probably forgot everything. It's just something to remind me of what I've done today. Nothing much. Haha.
-7:47 pm
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Friday, August 12
-4:22 pm
Thought that I haven't been updating for long.. But well, it has only been five days! Not very long by some people's standards. Haha. Anyways, picked up my contacts on monday. Wore it out to Wee's house and to school today. No one asked, I guess it looked fine.. 'Cuz there are some people who look very different when they changed from spectacles to contact lens. Ling Ling even said that I don't look different. Lols.
Had National Day celebrations on monday. Rather boring, though it was quite okay. J2s had these amazing race kinda thing [It's getting stale!] where almost every other station we had to sing a national day song, ie. where we belong, reach for the skies yada yada.. But overall we came out 6th, and that's without completing 2 stations. Not bad a result I would say, but sadly we missed the consolation prize by 1 position. Oh well. Then the finale, because there was an economics test after everything, there were people mugging for it admist the celebrations. So while we were singing some national day song, the familiar blue back cover of the econs notes started to sway in the air! It was quite a sight. They came out several times too. Haha. And at the back of the hall, all Mr Peh could do was shake his head.. *shakes shakes* LOLs. Some display of the Saints spirit huh.
Hmm, didn't really do anything except visited Wee's newborn sister on National Day. She was really cute! Haha, and Wee looked like her father when he carried her around. Played monopoly, but got bored by it rather soon because there were only 2 major players. Boys vs Girls. What the lor. [Well, it was also because the girls were evidently losing that's why it got boring. Hahaha.] Then we went to PS's arcade. Played daytona again. Got my fastest lap at 16.98mins! Faster than the guys too! Muhahaha. But I've feeling this is the fastest I could go. Took neoprints again. Seriously, almost all my neoprint collection are with CO people. Class.. Only that time when we went to PS to celebrate my birthday and yeah, last year's [failed] sports day. Then with Keni they all too. That's all. The rest all with CO. Wah kao. Not bad sia. Went to grandma's for dinner. And sadly to say, I didn't get any work done.
But it's okay, 'cause I went mugging with Jeremy the next day. And just HAD to meet up with Guoxi, Samuel and Chun Hong. ... AJ muggers! Haha. Oh well, didn't know that can study at Bishan CC. Now that I know, maybe will frequent there during the study breaks, no need to go all the way down to school so mah fan. Did some maths and realized that there's some much to cover for calculus. Ughs. This is so bad lor. But at least I finally know how to do some of those stupid parametric questions thingy. Stupid curves. Hope to really get rid of it after the A levels. Tried doing my GP essay after that, but to no avail...
So I did it in school. For more than 2 hours. Shucks. Give me do comprehension still not that bad lor. Thursday was ultimate fei4 lar! Because Ms Lim didn't come, so there was like 3.5 hours break. Wasted it on GP essay. Sian. So I basically came for Biology lecture which was well, nothing much anyway. Just had to know the names and the effects of those few hormones that affect growth. But at least Charlie and the Chocolate Factory saved the day! Haha. The oompa-loopmas!!!!!!!!!!!! wahaha, they are so cute lar! Though it's a little unsettling to see carbon copies of the same person dancing in perfect sychronization. And the songs! Haha. Johnny Depp! His face is just creepy, so Michael Jackson ie fake. But his acting was fantastic! Heh. Go catch it or you will regret it!!! Haha.
All right what am I doing here? Should be studying soon. Ughs. Prelims in less than 20 days. But still have tons to slog through. Sighs.
24/11/2005. Where are you?!
Sunday, August 7
-12:52 am
Farewell.
But it's not goodbye.
Don't cry. 'cause what was taken away from us physically, will remain in our hearts, no matter what. We cry only because we thought we lost it forever.
So let's stick together and mug for prelims and A levels. Heh. Details of the party, well, I probably will post it when there's time. Haha.
Thank you J1s, for everything. Your enthusiaism is commendable. Haha. Especially the skits. Man, can't remember when was the last time I had so much fun. Haha. The last bit was extremely touching! Love you guys to bits. XD Goodnight!
